Category: A Day in the Life

Where We Are May 2012

It has been a long month full of paperwork (house related stuff) and illness. Shamus, Es, and Rachel still have whatever this sickness is and I just really got over it finally yesterday. This is probably more rambly than usual as I have been dealing with the remains of the illness (headache that won’t just go away) and have been spending much time pondering things in my head rather than out loud.

Issac built castles with the boxes for packing.

We are still working on selling the house. Finally have all paper in for possible short sale and now it is a waiting game. People keep looking at it but no offers yet. We have gotten a letter from one of those companies that buys houses offering to buy it but we feel we need to wait on God on this and not try to jump the gun and go with a quick solution.

Enjoying taco salad out with great-grandma.

We are also continuing to prayerfully consider an RV. We would really like to be able to travel to conventions (which would help sell Shamus book and get his name out) and the kids and I just want to travel and see the US in general (what better way to homeschool?) An RV would give us a cheap place to live, allow Shamus to travel while giving him a place to work and be comfortable and home, it would allow us the freedom to go where we want to go but be back home with family as needed. We need to wait for the Lord on this as well. We don’t want to get something that won’t run, doesn’t fit our family, or has had pets so we are prayerfully watching and waiting.

Headband from Japan-- gift from unschooled friends in Japan

We have also decided not to sell our stuff but rather to give it away where it is needed. We have prayed about this a lot and feel strongly that we need not attempt to sell everything but instead rely on God to provide. I am trying to decide how best to put my art for sale since we don’t want to store it. The paintings of the kids will mostly go to family as interested but I have the dragon and bunny paintings plus illustrations from the game and book that I would like to sell. Have considered ebay but looking at sales results I don’t think that is the best way. Considering just putting buy it now buttons directly on my art page (http://elasah.com) or just putting things up on Etsy. I don’t keep up with Etsy enough to really get sales that way so am not sure. I have however spent the last few days updating my art site (http://elasah.com) and Etsy (http://www.etsy.com/shop/ElasahArt) with more art so hopefully some things will sell.

Cool Japanese stuff from friends.

The Lord has been providing, mostly through sales of Shamus book. The initial sales were good though they have tapered off and it will be interesting to see how the Lord continues to provide. We have an added monthly expense for Him to provide for (in order to do short sale we have to pay a certain amount each month– nearly as much as the original mortgage which we didn’t pay because we didn’t have it. Thus far He is providing and we trust Him to continue.

We continue to rely on Him rather than the government and He has been faithful. Just the other day we had several checks we had been waiting for suddenly go through just in time to make the mortgage payment that had to be in that day or we would go straight to Sheriff sale. We have also had numerous small miracles– free vitamins, $10 off coupons for new stores accepted at the only store that carries the butter we use, things like that. God continues to provide and take care of us in wonderful ways.

Watching the raw milk coming directly through the pipes from the cows (who are being milked during sell times.)

The last few days it has rained while the sun was still shining. Usually we are in the perfect location for a rainbow (they appear just over the hill from us nearly every time it rains). I look forward to them as the Lord has used them many times in the past to remind me that He provides and will continue to take care of us. However the last few days there have been none. As I was driving home from getting milk in the pouring rain with the sun glaring directly in my eyes I had a revelation.
Sometimes we can’t see the rainbow because we are in the midst of it. I am sure those around us could see a rainbow and I am trusting that He will continue to use our current situation and how He takes care of us to give others around us hope.

Interview with Issac

Interviews continued.  If you missed the first one: Jennifer over at Path Less Taken has been interviewing her kids.  I did that  several years ago with all three (here) so I decided to do it again and see how things had changed.   I started with Rachel which is here, Essie here, and now Issac (who was the hardest to pin down– he doesn’t like to be put on the spot. His initial answer is always I don’t know, then when he thinks a bit he answers.)

Issac does Kung Fu with marker sticks.

1. What is something Mom always says to do?

Nice to meet you, Hungry. (In response to his constant “Moo-oomm, I’m hungry”)

 

2. What makes Mom happy?

If I make her tea or clean up the living room.

 

3. What makes Mom sad?

I’m not sure.

 

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Jokes or tickling.

 

5. What was your mom like as a child?

I don’t know, I forget.

 

6. How old is your mom?

37

 

7. How tall is your mom?

2 ft taller than I am. (a foot off– I am 1 ft taller.)

 

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

Painting

 

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?

I don’t know because I am usually asleep.

 

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

I have no idea.

 

11. What is your mom really good at?

Painting.

 

12. What is your mom not very good at?

Tripletown

 

13. What does your mom do for a job?

Paint

 

14.What is your mom’s favorite food?

lettuce

(Apparently I like salad a lot.:))

 

15.What makes you proud of your mom?

When you finish a painting.

 

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

I don’t know.

 

17. What do you and your mom do together?

Board games

 

18. How are you and your mom the same?

We both make weird faces sometimes.

(Weird=silly)

 

19. How are you and your mom different?

Your hair is longer.

 

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

You listen to what I am talking about.

 

21. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?

Um, to the computer.

(First kid who got this close to right– essentially unless I am taking a road trip my favorite place to go is “home”.:))

Provision-y stuff and an Octopus

Rach proudly holding the homemade marzipan octopus she sculpted.

We are busy cleaning and packing plus doing Hanukkah (not to mention family Christmas stuff.) In the meantime God has been blessing us in a variety of ways, including the above marzipan recipe which makes it much cheaper and thus lets Rach sculpt to her hearts content.

It's a Calvin octopus.
Some cool God stuff that has happened:
  • We managed to get rid of 6 garbage bags full of sheets, blankets, and books– which means less stuff to pack!  YAH!
  • The kids have been a great help with packing things up, especially since I keep getting minor injuries that are forcing me to stop and rest.
  • We bought the kids 1 gift for each day of Hanukkah and it has been so peaceful and enjoyable.  Instead of a pile of presents the kids are really focusing on their one gift and enjoying it, which has been a huge change of events.  In the past a stuffed Mario or book would have been tossed aside when the bigger, cooler gifts come out but this year they are enjoying each to the fullest.
  • The peace that Hanukkah has brought has especially blessed me as I normally go crazy during the holidays, preferring to hole up in a corner with a book and avoid all the chaos.  This is especially good considering all the other stuff going on.
  • The Lord is continuing to take care of us financially.  We have been waiting, praying and trusting and He is making our money go much further than we could have imagined.
  • I got a God-gift today (usually around the holidays and my birthday the Lord blesses me with something that is exactly what I wanted, something just perfect that blesses me in a huge way– I always call them God-gifts…because they are obviously a perfect special thing just from Him to me.)  Today, Rach and I ran to the thrift shop to drop off the bags of stuff.  While there we were checking for something she was looking for and while she was looking at something else she ran across a food processor in the wrong spot.  We had just been talking about how little time this one has left (I have burned them out in less than a week and our current one is used and was missing the shredding/slicing blade.)  The one she found was a perfect match to my current one (which was a thrifted gift from a friend) and it included a non-broken bowl and the blade I needed.  This means I can use the current one till I burn it out and have a backup.  Plus I now have two bowls and mixing blades!  We are all so excited because I have been wanting to make sauerkraut and other ferments again and really needed that blade (due to my RA cutting and grating are pretty much out so without a food processor that works well I can’t make a lot of our foods.)   Someday we will have the money to get me a good one again (I killed my Bosch after 9 years of daily use) but for now I have a backup that does what I need!  So excited and blessed that God would provide this for me in such a way (and I think the kids are as excited as I am– we all love God-gifts and get excited about them together).
  • The sign is up in front of our house to let people know it is for sale.  Today someone stopped and asked about it (we are appointment only because we are all home all the time and I am not sure if we will have sheets to give out or not– we don’t right now which is what he was asking for.)  I am just feeling really encouraged that someone is even interested at all.
  • When the bank called today they suddenly said that we DON’T have a sheriff sale date.  Not sure if it changed because the house is now for sale for real, if he just didn’t see it, or what but he was pretty sure we didn’t have a date for sheriff sale which is interesting because last week they said January 6.  Either way we are encouraged again that something is happening and God is moving.
  • After the thrift shop Rach and I ran into the grocery store nearby to pick up a few things we needed.  On the way out they had a huge pile of excellent boxes (banana boxes and egg boxes which are super strong.)  I had totally forgotten that  when I had called they said Thursday was their shipment day and that they just put them on the ledge in front for people to take.  So Rach and I filled the minivan up with boxes and we now have plenty (I think) for what we need.

Where We Are: September 2011

This month (and the end of August) has seen as much busy-ness as our summer though of a new variety. We are prayerfully considering what direction we should be heading financially (have money to live on for the moment and had hoped to save up and live on it longer by bringing in more income but that all but stopped when the check finally came. Good thing God knows what He is doing (and He obviously has us trusting Him completely in this) because we have no idea. Well, we have some slight direction, and the Lord is kind of herding us in a certain direction that we are getting more and more comfortable with but the logistics of it all are still kind of out there and we don’t feel free to share yet. Still no money for the house payment and we are just waiting for the bank to kick us out– packing things up that we don’t need so we can simplify significantly is what we are focused on at the moment. Due to our awkward financial circumstances (no steady income, no savings, everything pretty unstable) they aren’t willing to work with us (not that I blame them.) So we will see what is around the next bend.

Idlewild 2011
The kids on a ride at a rare trip to Idlewild park (carload days are awesome.)

In the meantime, still doing GAPS– in fact we are being more rigorous with it while we are here so we can kick some more food allergies (which will simplify things down the road.)

P1090397
The youngest son of a friend who sheltered with us during Hurricane Irene.

We are still unschooling (and yes, the kids are still learning way more than they ever did when workbooks were a way of life for us).

We just got a package
The kids opening the box of Magic: the Gathering cards friends sent us-- our living room is overrun.

 
We are focusing on doing the next thing, whatever that is, as the Lord guides us. Right now that means I will be painting, purging excess stuff (and God willing having a yard sale, taking my grandmother shopping several times a week, helping Shamus with his projects, and more time to spend with the kids; chatting with them, being with them, loving them where they are. Shamus is currently working on his autoblography which when done, God willing, will become an eBook memoir.

If you would be praying for wisdom and direction, especially regarding our finances and where the Lord wants us but also regarding spiritual things He is showing us recently, we would heartily appreciate it.

I-CU

Intensive Care for the Christian Unschooler– this is a weekly meme (you post the questions to your blog each Wednesday that you are able, using one of the buttons here to link  over to the CU blog, add your site to the linky at the bottom there.)


“This week we want to…” prepare for a yard sale and figure out ways to get enough money to go visit friends that are moving soon and get enough together to go to the science center before our membership is over.
“The kids are…” enjoying Issac’s new scooter, struggling with the fact that we are tight with money again and can’t do all that they want to do.  Issac is adoring the Green Electricity Snap Circuit Kit he bought with his Christmas money (he saved it till now).
“I am learning….” more like relearning.  I am having to place everything in God’s hands, again.  WHEN am I going to learn?
“I am struggling with…” trusting that God will provide.  There are things that really need to be done this month (I mean yeah, they don’t have to but this is our last month our our science center membership and we would like to go at least one more time, we have two different friends moving in the next month (1 3 hrs away, the other 5 hrs away) both of which my oldest really wants to visit before they move because it is likely once they move we will never see them.  And honestly I have no idea where the money will come from to do any of that since we are that place– the car needs inspected this month, and we are coming up empty–we are back to waiting for provision for the basics let alone for road trips.  He has provided thus far and I am trusting that He will continue but…I am nervous and I really shouldn’t be.  I KNOW He is Jehovah Jireh.  I KNOW He has provided in the past.  I just wish I could get the rest of me to remember and accept instead of worrying.  Yes, I am struggling with panic– we are in the month the house foreclosure can take place and it is scary sice we have no backup plan and what we thought God was doing hasn’t happened (and suddenlyShamus switched gears from the book to programming and we were hoping that would get finished soon.) So…trusting Jehovah Jireh.

Apparently my lack of sleep these last few nights is also getting to me even though I “feel” fine– not tired or anything.  Just irritable and anxious.  I think Mandy might be onto something there.  I think a lot of that is a shift in what I am eating–still eating GAPS but out of some key components and so haven’t been eating according to my cravings, which means I often just can’t be bothered to eat (eating plenty, just meh.).

“This week is the first time….” hmmmm, trying to think of first here.  I guess it is the first time I have had a Facebook Bible discussion group– which is amazing and awesome and relaxed and beautiful and EXACTLY the type of Bible discussion group I have always wanted.  No schedule, no real plan, just lets study what God has to say about this word and everyone posts as they feel led.  Beautiful.

I am grateful for… (Yes, I added this one, will probably add it to the whole list on the group blog.)  God’s provision.  Yesterday we needed milk from the farm (and eggs and meat and cheese ) and since they are only open Tuesday and Thursday evenings (well and Sat but we don’t do Saturday stuff) I needed to go if I was going.  I had been praying all day because we didn’t have the money to go and get what we needed and really were low on groceries.  And then a friend gifted us with enough to go!  So we went and it was such a blessed time.  Rach and I stopped and visited my step-brother to give him his birthday gift which we have been carrying around for over a month.  We were able to spread the cash out to cover plenty of milk and meat plus lots of eggs and cheese and bananas (key on the GAPS diet).  We were able to check the gift cards that a friend sent us for Chili’s (we have had gift cards sent in the mail before that something the postal service did demagnetized them and they didn’t work so always check them before purchasing anything) and the gift cards are good so hubby and I get a date night!!!  Anyway, it was an evening of one blessing after another and it was amazing and awesome and God is so good!   And then we had enough in our gift fund to give to another friend in need which was also a blessing– I love being able to help others even if it isn’t much.  God has blessed us in such amazing ways that I want to pass on those blessings!

Oh, and both girls wrote essays for the Gaming Angels girls Computer Camp contest and I am proud of both of them– they did a beautiful job and each essay is so unique and really shows their personality and thought processes.

Unschooling Revelation

I just walked in and saw my son watching Beakman’s World. Instead of getting upset that he was “just sitting there”, I had a revelation.

He was watching a movie that he wanted to watch and therefore gleaning as much as he could from it. (Unlike when someone makes you watch something and part of your brain is thinking about all the stuff it would rather be doing.) So here he was, learning, just like he usually is, whether he is playing a video game, watching a movie, playing with Legos, whatever. So essentially what he was doing was educational.

In the past I, like a lot of moms, would have gotten upset because I want to make him be useful. I’m trying to prepare the house for Sabbath, I’m hurting, and I need help.

Here is the thing. People pack their children off to school, every school day, for 7 hours (and if they have a long bus ride like I did, 8 or 9 hours.) There they sit and do many educational things all day that do not engage them. For the most part, they don’t really care about these things and ask why they have to learn them. In between those 20 minute educational lectures/lessons (I am generalizing here– when I was teaching some lessons were as short as 10 minutes, others were up to an hour long) they stand in line, get out books and put them away, get a drink, eat lunch, take electives where they have to take out and put away, wait for their classmates to finish their work, do extra busy work that is there for classroom management not for actual education, spend a few minutes talking to friends while waiting in line or during recess, get shushed, corrected, and so on. They take tests to prove that they remember what the teacher told them, wait for others to finish their tests, loose pencils/books/etc, spend time finding all of those lost items, and all sorts of other activities that are not beneficial to the adults at home and may or may not be educational. The wasted time in a school room is an issue teachers know well and which we are taught in our classroom management classes.

Start the year with review of last year. Then learn something new. Then review that thing. Then take time to study that thing. (I hope you haven’t mastered the subject, because there’s nothing else to do in the classroom right now.) Then finally take a test about the thing. Then forget about the thing and move on to a new thing. Even on rare days when new information is imparted, it’s usually teaching for the test, not teach the subject for the purposes of knowledge and understanding. We were told to expect about 20-30 minutes of actual new content being taught and the rest of the day being remedial and managing the class. Half an hour of learning. Out of eight.

Now a classically homeschooled kid has a lot more time at home (when they aren’t running to outside things like sports and dance classes– lots of time in the car for those). The parents spend much of their home time planning, organizing, teaching, and keeping the child on task (and anyone who has done classical homeschool can tell you that that takes a TON of energy, though of course it depends on the kid.) So let’s say the child spends 4 hours doing book work. (Some do much more, some do much less.) They may or may not be interested in what they are being taught and some are learning a lot more than others. For those who aren’t learning then there is repetition and practice and the parent trying to find new ways to teach the lesson. During that time the child is being taught by the parent, which means the parent is pulled away from the other things the parent could be doing. On a good day everything goes smoothly and everyone finishes their work with no tears. On a bad day…well. When we were more classical most days were bad days. The rest of the day is often taken with chores and outside activities though they certainly get more downtime to explore their own interests.

The thing is, in both of those situations the child is only expected to be doing educational activities for much of the day (including all those extracurricular activities) and that child may or may not be getting anything out of ANY of those educational opportunities. Yet here I am with a child who is actively learning regardless of what he is doing because he is full engaged in what he is doing. He’s doing it because he IS interested and wants to learn more about it, and I am going to complain because he is JUST watching TV? Meanwhile, if he were sitting in a class he’d likely be doing a time-sink worksheet that exists only to slow down the faster kids and keep them busy while the slow kids catch up. Is that really better than television?

How messed up my thinking has been. I had forgotten the point was to see him learning, to look for the learning going on instead of keeping my own personal servant. I should point out here that he had already spent quite a bit of time helping me today and he often does helpful things out of love instead of being coerced, just like I do things to serve him, out of love. It is so easy to forget all the helpful things that he does do when I notice him sitting there “doing nothing” while I am busy.

I CU

Intensive Care for the Christian Unschooler– this is a weekly meme (you post the questions to your blog each Wednesday that you are able, using one of the buttons here to link back to the CU blog, and hop over here and add your site to the linky at the bottom.)

“This week we want to…”…hmm, will have to ask the kids. We did what they really wanted (went to Moraine State Park, where they made friends with a family that is eerily similar to our own in all sorts of awesome ways. Also took Rach to the outlets and to Moraine yesterday– which she announced was the best day ever, though I guess today almost trumped it.

“The kids are…” happy and sunburnt. VERY sunburnt (though I am the worst)– apparently staying 3 hours past when we were going to leave might not have been such a great idea. 🙂 But it was worth it, see above.

“I am learning….” that I forgot how much sunburn hurts? And that maybe God is filling in my lack of leadership ability, maybe. I don’t WANNA lead. That I don’t have nearly enough time to write all the stuff I want to write about (SO much that needs written down), take care of the house, visit my grandma, AND do all the cool stuff I want to do with the kids. So, I really need to be praying for wisdom at any given moment so I am doing all things in His time. And I am learning that I forgot to take pictures today. I think I took like, 3. Sigh. And once again I am learning that YES God is taking care of us. I had to stop and get groceries on the way home and was really upset at how much they cost because we have bills to pay and car inspection. Got home and found almost that exact amount had been donated to us via Shamus’ blog. So whoever you are, THANK YOU!

“I am struggling with…” sunburn? Ow?

“This week is the first time….” I have taken the kids to Moraine alone. Don’t know why I never have, but I just didn’t. Didn’t occur to me how close it was.

I CU

Intensive Care for the Christian Unschooler– this will be a weekly meme (you post the questions to your blog each Wednesday that you are able, using one of the buttons to link back here, and hop over here and add your site to the linky at the bottom.)

“This week we want to…” do a whole list of things, literally. The kids made a list at roughly midnight Sunday night. It is long and includes a slew of foods they want to make (on the GAPS diet, learning lots of new recipes so much of learning is focused on that.) For instance today we kicked crossed 2 things from the list– making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (made almond/banana bread) and had ice cream for breakfast (homemade raw milk with honey). Also made the kids lunch meat and hot dogs– two other things on the list. To aid them in this endeavor I made a list of links on delicious specifically for them, so we can quickly look up all the recipes I am finding.

“The kids are…” playing a lot of Roblox and thus learning about bullying and other behaviors.

“I am learning….” to make kombucha! Made my first batch from a scoby I made from bought kombucha. Very exciting. Just bottled my first batch!

“I am struggling with…” too much social interaction. Need to walk away from the computer more often now that so much is going on on the Christian Unschooling group. I get super moody and wiped out if I over interact– it literally drains me. Also need to find some way NOT to be leaving the house EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Too much is enough. I am working on saying yes more often to the kids (not yes you can do something evil but yes lets find a creative way that you can do what you want if not now in the future.) It is adding to the peaceful-ness of the household, and the kids are helping get creative with solutions– great for problem solving skills.
A great example is that the kids love Larabars. They want to eat them all but at $1.25 per bar even for the bulk ones I got so we would have them on hand when we left the house, well, I just can’t let them. These have to last us a long time. So we talked about solutions. I told them that they can eat as many as they want as long as they paid me for them so I could replace them (they have money– gifts and money they earn). Then I said that I would MAKE my own version so they had something similar when they wanted, which they could eat the rest of the time. They loved the idea and all are happy now. (I make them anyway, and they like them, but those packaged ones have wrappers and that makes them appealing.) Here is a link to all sorts of homemade larabar recipes, in case you want to make your own too.

“This week is the first time….” I made my own kombucha and made my own salami-like lunch meat. I have made roast beef lunch meat before but Rach really wanted lunch meat and I couldn’t afford a grassfed roast but I did have plenty of hamburger. This is also the first time Shamus and I have worked together to fix something. I ADORE fixing broken things and problem solving and usually get together with my brother and have tons of fun seeing what will fix random broken things around the house. Shamus….not so much. He just gets angry. This time we had fun tearing apart the mower and applying all sorts of internet and book knowledge and it was the advice of one of his readers that did it! YAH!



 

Plank Pullin’: Packrat edition

It’s Plank Pullin’ time! The one day a week that we strongly resolve to ignore the multitude of specks and sawdust around us and pull one bona fide plank from our own eye. Matthew 7:3-5, style.

So, I have been talking a lot about this new adventure where we don’t tell my kids to do chores anymore and they actually step in and do stuff around the house when asked (once only) or even, get this, without  being asked!  A lot?  It is the ONLY thing I have been talking about lately but that is because it is HUGE for us and it is taking up a lot of my thinky brain– you all will be TOTALLY SICK OF IT by the time I am finished, trust me. It is almost as if this whole “unschoooling” thing actually works when applied to other areas of life– who knew (and those of you who did, hush up– you have one a beautiful job not saying I told you so and I would appreciate it if you continued NOT saying I told you so. :))

So, it is still on my mind because I am still working through it so of course this week’s Plank Pullin’ is totally about that.

Here is the thing: I am messy. I like to have things look neat and deliberately get rid of clutter so it is easier to keep things neat (used to be a total pack rat–took 6 moves to make me stop)– when we have a lot of stuff I stash things and pile all the stuff I don’t know what to do with in one corner/drawer/cupboard/out of site.   My husband is fairly messy as well– he likes things neat and clean (no bugs) and will keep his desktop clean (well he declutters a lot more often than I do– you do NOT get to see my desktop but just know that as long as I have a spot for my water bottle I am happy) and if something starts bugging him he will do something about it, not complain to me about it.  He is also my absent minded professor– so when someone asks who left the cheese out, it was probably him. 🙂

So WHY am I surprised that my kids are packrats and tend to leave things behind when they are doing something (my oldest especially.)  They get it from US!  And my biggest pet peeve, the stufing and putting off doing something?  ME! ME! ME!  They get it from ME!

Oops.

You see, this week I helped my oldest rearrange her room (so she had a “wall” between her and her younger sister’s bed) and whilst doing that helped her clean the pile of junk she shoved into the closet when she was having company.  I was angry and irritated about that pile.  REALLY irritated.  I had been asking her to clean it up for over a month.  This time I stopped asking and just helped because I knew she hated the mess and was overwhelmed by it.  I was also upset that she still had a laundry basket full of clean clothes sitting on the floor.  She gave me all sorts of excuses and I just got cranky about it.

The things is?  I have a similar pile in my bedroom. Several similar piles.  Sure they aren’t full of garbage like hers (well the bottom of my closet might be since that is where presents get stashed and all those little wrappers and tags end up there, and there might be packing materials and random bits of stuff mixed in with the big pile but…..)  I also have a pile of clothes that I can’t be bothered to hang up (because I forget what I have if I hang it up–the closet door closes and I can’t see through it :)) and a huge pile of things that I have move from other parts of the house as we cleaned– because I didn’t know what to do with this stuff.

Did you see the excuses?

Yeah.

See God keeps showing me that MY attitude and actions are what the kids are seeing and copying (also that some of this stuff is just hereditary–you should see all the stuff my brother’s collect, and my dad, and my grandparents:)).  So whether I choose to clean up my own act I REALLY need to remember that I have my own messes to deal with first, THEN I can help them clean up theirs.

I have also found that when something really doesn’t work for them I need to adapt things so they WILL work for them.  Which is why my kids don’t have drawers– they, like me, stash things in drawers then forget about them (every drawer in our house is a junk drawer except those in the kitchen cabinets that hold designated items).  They used to dump their drawers on the floor every time they got dressed.  So we got rid of the drawers and put in shelves.  We find that having too many clothes leads to mess–they get overwhelmed looking for things that actually fit/feel right, so we go through and get rid of what doesn’t fit or feel right.  If a certain type of storage doesn’t work for me, I get rid of it and move to something that does, so we do the same thing for them. 🙂

Just had some tea with my oldest and discussed all the things that we have in common, that drive each other crazy– the messes, staying up all night playing video games, the interrupting, the… you get the idea.  And she pointed out how angry she used to get when I would yell at her for something that I do.  Yeah.  Working on it.